LisaBinDaCity

Usually The Revlon Walk is a sunny, warm day. This year it was overcast and cold. I had a hard time waking up and walking over to Shannon’s apartment. We had to get to 7th Avenue earlier than usual, (the organizers changed things this year,) to register and pick up our t-shirts. We met at 7:00 a.m, extremely sleep deprived but happy to see each other. Off we went.

Lisa: “So now we have all our stuff, what shall we do? It’s still an hour until the walk.”

Shannon: “How about breakfast? We can relax a bit and eat before we go.”

Lisa: “What a great idea! I love having smart friends.”

Shannon: “Not so smart, just more awake.”

We laughed.

Shannon: “How about this place, the food looks pretty good.”

Lisa: “I’ve got twenty bucks on me and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Yes, we’re definitely more entertaining when we are awake!

After breakfast we listened to a few speeches and then the race began. 40,000 people cheering, and confetti flying everywhere. And signs, lots of signs.

I’m walking in support of_____.

I’m walking in memory of_____.

My sign said:

I’m walking in support of:

My Mom
Shannon
All My Blogger Buddies

I noticed this year there were a lot more men walking. Also more people of color. The other thing I saw was how many children were walking in memory of their mothers. So terribly sad yet somehow uplifting at the same time.

We crossed the finish line, high-fived each other and hugged. Another year, another good time, and another chance to give back.

Every year Shannon and I talk about how much we LOVE doing this walk. And we’re going to keep doing it because it matters. Thank you again for your wonderful support. I adored taking you all with me!

Last week I had a hard time sleeping and was walking around in a total fog for days. One night I finally passed out and slept very hard. I woke up about two hours later with my heart racing. I obviously had had a bad dream but couldn’t remember much about it. I got up, drank some water, and checked my email. I went back to sleep about an hour later.

And then the dream happened again. But this time I remembered it!

I was living with a man who I had never seen before who called me his wife repeatedly. And I was pregnant and living in Hillbilly Heights, Arkansas. If that wasn’t bad enough, all my husband talked about was the upcoming church social for which I was baking my “World Famous Rice Krispie Squares.” Oh and my special treat for later that day? A visit to Wal-Mart, (with my in-laws) to choose a crib for the baby.

*SCREAMS*

I could NOT wake up! No matter how hard I tried. I remember using every production skill in my arsenal trying to get out of the situation and nothing worked. And it was driving me crazy! My “husband” even patted me on the head and laughed indulgently.

*MORE SCREAMS*

I finally woke up with my heart racing and realized the phone was ringing. I picked it up.

“Good morning,” said hot, cute man (who does NOT live in Arkansas.)

“Thank heavens you called!” I said with audible relief.

“What’s going on?” said the hot, cute, now worried man.

“I had the scariest dream! I had this nightmare that I moved to Arkansas, and I HATE Arkansas. I also dreamed I was married, barefoot and pregnant, and I didn’t even know the guy! It was SO AWFUL. You’re not ever going to make me move to Arkansas, are you?”

“That state is dead to us.” said hot, cute, sweet, loving man.

Talk about my knight-in-shining-armor rescuing me from the horrors of my dream!

*Swoons*

My hero!

Lordy have mercy on my soul. And WTF was with that dream???

Apparently this is “Women Empowerment Day” at Casa de Lisa B….

Lyrics from Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman”

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

I LOVE those lyrics, I think they are true for so many women that I know. The words remind us we are strong, we are tough, and perhaps even more importantly, we endure. And we always come back from whatever tough situations that threaten to derail us.

Women ROCK.

Yay us!!!

(And just a reminder, I’m celebrating the empowerment of women by doing the Revlon Walk next weekend. And should you wish to sponsor me I will be all kinds of grateful. Here’s the link.)

Be sure and tell the special women in your life what they mean to you. It MATTERS, you know? I know my friends and family are going to be hearing from me very soon…

In case you are living in a cave in Pakistan hadn’t heard, the Pope visited New York last week. And it was a BIG DAMN DEAL. A lot of people come to visit the city regularly, including the United Nations Delegates, Dubya, etc., but I’ve never seen anything like this. Many streets were blocked off, barricades were all over the place, and the police presence was off the charts!

I was in the midst of all this mayhem as it was a lovely spring afternoon and I was meeting someone for a walk in Central Park. There was GREAT people watching involved, and we both had fun checking out all the action.

Eventually I walked home. I was starving and stopped in a local place to get a take-out salad for supper. And I couldn’t believe it, I had to walk around even more barricades to get inside the restaurant! I chatted with the waiter as he put my meal together.

Lisa: “This Pope thing is getting crazy. All the streets are blocked off and it’s really hard to get around.”

Waiter: “I know, it’s been that way all day.”

Lisa: “Are you going to go see him tomorrow at St. Patrick’s?”

Waiter: “No, I have to work.”

Lisa: “That’s a shame.”

Waiter: “Eh, you seen one Pope, you’ve seen them all.”

We both laughed.

New Yorkers RULE.

Internet dating is like this surreal cafeteria with all kinds of exotic choices. Think “Twin Peaks,” or Ringling Brothers on acid. It’s fun but it’s weird. You just never know what you’re going to get, (hat tip to Forest Gump.)

You have this strange sense of power… think about it. You’re “hiding” behind the computer deciding if you want to be with someone. Whether or not it’s mutual is a whole different story. I may think someone is a good fit and they may not agree. Or someone else may consider me their perfect woman while I recoil in horror. And while it’s fun, it’s also scary as hell. You’re putting yourself out there to be judged, and you just never know who is going to show up for the party.

I will say thus far my party has been pretty darn good. And you’re just going to have to wait to hear more!

I’ll get to some other fun stories soon as well. Stay tuned for Mr. Green Card, Mr. Player, Mr. Ultra-Religious Zealot, Mr. I-Wanna-Be-Your-F*ck Buddy, and Mr. Momma’s Boy. Good times!

Off to Texas for the weekend to share a few more of these witty chats… this is a favorite from November of 2005.

“Mom, I can’t remember, what is it called when companies do corporate synergy? You know where they plug their other stores and products, and when you buy one thing they make you buy the other unrelated thing for the bargain? What is that called?”

Mom replied, “Collusion?”

Go Mom.

Be back next week!

Last night I went to an early dinner with a friend, then came home and hung out. I had downloaded some songs to my iPod earlier in the week, and hadn’t had time to listen to them yet. I put on my headphones and cranked up the tunes. Of course I had downloaded my usual goofy vintage 70’s/80’s music for my gym playlist.

A sampling:

“Celebration” - Kool and The Gang
“Another one bites the dust” - Queen
“We will rock you” - Queen
“Nights on Broadway” - Bee Gees
“Hungry like a wolf” - Duran Duran
“Dont Cha” - The Pussycat Dolls (more recent but still rocks!)

O.K. I’m a dork, your point?

Next thing I know I’m doing a Tom Cruise in “Risky Business.” I stripped down to my skivvies and danced like a wild thing. And I did it for about 30 minutes.

AND I LOVED IT!!!

Sometimes you just gotta get up and dance, you know?

Yesterday I went to the gym to unkink some sore muscles. I know that makes no sense but somehow it works. Anyway, I was on the stationary bike peddling away when a woman sat down on the bike next to me. I took a deep breath, (breathe in, breathe out,) and immediately got a mouthful of cheap perfume. I choked then stared at the woman beside me. She was blissfully ignorant of my death glare. And I was subsequently mesmerized by how incredibly awful she looked.

Picture this:

Mid to late 60’s, (and I’m being extremely charitable)
Not blessed with good looks even when dinosours walked the earth in her day
Clown red hair in a frizzy perm
Face pulled so tight by a bad face lift that her eyes were popping out of her head
Overplucked eyebrows that were two thin lines
Over-Botoxed forehead
Nauseatingly sweet perfume that she must have bathed in

And she was wearing a skin tight sweatsuit which showed every last fold of fat.

She thought she was all that. Seriously. I watched her preening in the mirror and smiling delightedly. Meanwhile I inhaled her crappy perfume with every single breath. That stuff shouldn’t be allowed in a gym!

Blessedly I only had a few minutes left on the bike. I stood up and took one last look. She was beaming at herself in the mirror.

Well at least someone was happy.

Oh Holy Hell, what have I done???

Talk about jumping from the furnace into the fire!

After a three year absence, I rejoined an internet dating site I had frequented in the past. And it’s definitely been entertaining! So far, I’ve noticed, (ok I looked,) that two of my ex-boyfriends are still active members. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. One guy I was involved with for well over two years. The other man I dated for a shorter time period, but somehow he meant so much more. Sigh. Que sera, sera. Anyway, I also saw a guy in the chat room who previously had a crush on me. He definitely was happy to see me. And I must note he has aged oh yum like fine wine! We will see…

I also IM’d with two female pals I hadn’t seen in ages. It was nice to catch up. And of course some idiot already wrote me who was at least 15 years older than my age preference. Did some part of my profile said I wanted to date a grizzled old fart? I think not.

If you know which site it is, I would appreciate your keeping it under wraps…

I’ll update you as time goes on. At the very least, it’s gonna be interesting!

I’m considered a very capable person. I’m guessing it’s probably due to a combination of my upbringing and my production background. Very few companies, corporations, or bureaucracies can intimidate me. I know how to work the system, (and get around the idiots people who slow me down.)

I think I’ve met my match though. These people almost brought me to my knees last week due to misinformation, unlimited paperwork, nonstop contradictory statements, endless lines, ridiculous requests, and complete insanity.

“Welcome my friends to Death Match 2008! Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the winner and still champion!

…The New York DMV!!!”

The DMV employees smile gleefully while they do their victory dance around the ring. The motley crowd applauds wildly, as Lisa B. holds her hands to her face in gesture of defeat.

“Thanks for playing, Lisa B.! Who’s wants to face off next against the mighty DMV? Come see if you can beat the system!”

(ok, so I did finally get my paperwork resolved, but damn what a clusterf*ck.)